Scuba Day 3: Certified!

I learned my lesson on day 2 the hard way, but at least I learned it. Today (day 3) I took a motion sickness drug and wore two smaller (proper fitting) wet suits. It was still cold and rainy outside, but I felt infinitely better and survived the final two dives necessary to get certified.

There were actually only two of us (tourists) on the boat and the other girl, Katie, got sick. (This made me feel like slightly less of a wuss) Since the weather was just about as bad as yesterday and we were at a dive site MUCH closer to the hotel, we actually came back after the first dive to warm up before going out again at 3 when the weather cleared up - as it always does at 3. My last dive was just off the beach and very enjoyable since I had finished all of the tests and we could just play around in the water.

Tomorrow I meet up with the Stanford crew on the opposite side of the island (about a 3 hour drive). Maybe the weather will be better there. Although, Brent - if you're reading - I will definitely dive again with you but I'm not sure I'm up for the advanced course. Think I'm going to save that for the warmer (and hopefully less choppy) waters of the Caribbean.

Scuba Day 2: SCUBA SICKNESS

The second day of the SCUBA course consists of two open water dives. We got all of the skills out of the way on dive one so that dive two could be fun.

That being said, what do you think is wrong with the following picture?

• Our Boat: Our boat was a little wooden thing with an engine probably equivalent to what would power an ordinary lawn mower back home. It was also leaking pretty badly - so much so that we had one local with us whose sole purpose was to bail out the boat as we went along in the rain
• Equipment: Apparently, everyone in Nungwi decided to dive yesterday which meant my wet suit was too big for me and my flippers looked like they were purchased at K-Mart some 20 years ago. Moreover, for some reason I was the only person (out of 20) not wearing two wet suits (if you're laughing I should just add that one local was wearing 3!!!). As I learned in Day 1, a wet suit that is two big is not going to keep you very warm.
• Bad Weather: Zanzibar is not tropical island. Zanzibar is not a tropical island. Zanzibar is not a tropical island. Sure, it tries to be in brochures to lure tourists here following the Kili climb, but I'm pretty sure I wrote about how it has been cold and rainy from about 10 to 2 here every day (ok, I know it's winter - but still!). You would think the dive company would plan around this... but then you would also think it shouldn't take 45 min to scramble an egg when you're the only person in the restaurant.
• Bad weather (e.g. Rain and high winds) + Small boat + Being freezing in poorly fitting wetsuit = Severe sea sickness. All my worrying about altitude sickness - and reading Dan's blog on sea sickness in South Africa - I still didn't take any motion sickness drugs. (In fairness to me, this was my third day out on these boats with no issue, but I still should have taken the precaution.)

I survived the two hour boat ride to the first dive site and my stomach settled a little under the water. However, after dive one, we had an hour and a half surface interval where our tiny wooden boat (with the bailer working overtime in the rain) got tossed around. Generally I was ok if the engine was on and we were moving, but we were just anchored and bobbing. Seriously - to the point where if you weren't holding on a big wave could (and did) knock you off your feet (Sam and Jared if you're reading and think I'm exaggerating it was MUCH worse than when we were out for snorkeling - same location). If I'm generous with time estimates, I made it 15 minutes before I started puking

An hour after the sea sickness started it was still going on as I was suiting up for the second dive. New Found Talent Number 1, I can put on a wet suit and dive equipment while sick in a rocking boat. Since I was so eager to get under water, I took an extra weight and sunk like a rock about 60 feet without equalizing properly which gave me the worst ear ache all last night... but that's another story. I was underwater again and we were swimming with the current. I was cold in my oversized wetsuit, but my tummy was happier and I was happy because I saw a massive sea turtle, some huge lobsters, tons of eels, octopus, and of course thousands of fish. The relief lasted for exactly 47 minutes (I know because had to record my bottom time in my dive log)

We surfaced again back in the stormy seas (just me and Conway) and our boat was a mere speck in the distance. Guess that current was stronger than he thought. I'm not sure how much of the 30+ minutes we bobbed around in the freezing cold water was the boat trying to locate us or the boat trying to maneuver it's little lawn mower motor against the current to come pick us up. Probably more the latter. While we waited and tried hopelessly to swim a little to keep warm, I discovered New Found Talent Number 2: The ability to vomit and swim at the same time.

FINALLY the boat picked us up. While this helped warm my core temperature a little my stomach was still rebelling. Over an hour into our journey home, where with forward movement I was feeling slightly better, we had to stop at another resort about two miles from our final destination to drop off some tanks. This meant anchoring the boat and bobbing again while the guys tried to maneuver the tanks off in the rocky water. I decided instead to leverage New
Found Talent Number 2 and abandoned ship. I swam to shore and then proceeded to run the 2 miles back to the resort where we started. (It was necessary to run since the tide was coming in quickly and I never would have made it around the rocks if I tried to walk) I managed to beat the boat and save a little face (at least that's what I told myself) since no one could believe I ran back so quickly after throwing up the better part of the afternoon.

I did not make it out last night - although I did manage to keep down some crackers... and still somehow loose my shoes again. By this point, I've been here longer than 95% of the tourists and I definitely know more locals - so I have just decided that part of completing the transition to beach bum means to stop wearing shoes all together since either drunk or sober, I seem to keep leaving them places.

Suba Day 1: BORING

Today I finished my three-day open water SCUBA course. For those of you considering doing something similar, I would not recommend Zanzibar - or I guess I should say I wouldn't recommend Zanzibar in July. The SCUBA itself was easy, but everything that came with it was an adventure (as expected in a third world country I suppose). For the sake of the blog, I will start at the beginning.

The first day was actually boring. Five hours of videos followed by several tests and then a bunch of practice doing random stuff in the pool. It was a solid 8 hour day. Luckily, I was the only student which expedited the process. My instructor's name was Conway, a 25-year-old from Kenya. Since I have actually been on five dives before, and it's hardly rocket science, I was able to breeze through Day 1.

Day 2 on the other hand, or as I like to call it "SCUBA Sickness" was a whole other story. See next entry for details.

Accounting 101

Accounting for Dummies:

• Assume the Tanzania shilling is equivalent to the US dollar
• Only conduct business in amounts less than $10 or 10,000 shillings.
• Make sure you never have small bills on you so that you can't give the customer change. They'll usually just let you keep the extra dollar or two. (Unless it's Sam and he decides to buy 5 beers at once since he doesn't trust the bartender to remember the credit)

Advanced Accounting:

• Demand everything in US dollars (only the new US dollars)
• Paste a picture of the new US dollar on your wall followed by a sign noting that it is a federal offense to pay in anything other than US dollars. (Remain fully aware of the fact that the closest atm is 2 hours away and only dispenses Tanzania shillings.)
• Insist on all payments up front (this is especially important with hotels before the customer can check to see if the water and/or electricity are actually working)
• When customer has no us dollars, say that just this one time you can make an exception to the law.
• Take 10 minutes to look up the exchange rate. When you see that it is currently 1.1, proceed to charge no less than 1.3. If the customer protests, say your next best offer is to charge a 10% commission on a cash advance from Visa only

Marketing 101

There are two types of marketing rules that apply here. One for the wandering Masai people (local tribe - or at least people who dress up and pretend to be local tribe people since we were told there actually aren't any on Zanzibar), and one for the people with a store front. The following are best practices even though we have yet to see anyone purchase anything.

For the Masai

• Say "Jambo" (hello).
• Thurst bag of trinkets in front of tourist as they walk along the beach
• Say "Mambo Poa" (what's up, cool?)
• Thrust bag of trinkets in front of tourist and follow as they try to walk away
• Say "Looking is free"
• Thrust bag of trinkets in front of tourist and continue to follow
• Since they don't appear to be interested in the trinkets, say that you can help arrange a snorkeling excursion
• Follow about five steps behind for at least 50 meters in case they change their mind

For those looking to set up shop

• Check out your buddies store where he is selling typical tourist items (wooden carvings, paintings, t-shirts)
• Rent the space next door to his shop
• Solicit the exact same merchandise - but - realizing that product differentiation is important, change a line or color on a painting here and there. Maybe even put the elephant carvings next to the rhinos instead of next to the hippos
• Recruit customers into your store. Start off by asking if they have climbed Kili or done a safari to get them talking
• Then repeat verbatim the same sales pitch used by your buddy next door. It didn't work for him, or the 10 guys before him, but believe that it will work for you because your merchandise is better than the other guys. You are so confident that you should even attempt to charge a higher price
• If the customer refuses, or keeps walking, try offering some weed.
• If they still refuse, make them promise they'll come back later for a "free look" and that they will buy trinkets from you before anyone else
• Smoke a joint and wait for around for the next group of tourists walking down the beach

Restaurant Management 101

After four days in Zanzibar, I am delcraing myself an expert on the weather patterns. From 10 to 2 every day it is overcast with periods of rain. During this time (assuming I am not in my scuba course) I am studying the art of doing business in Zanzibar and sharing the wealth with those of you who might be considering opening a business here. This first entry is on restaurant management.

Like most areas of the world. The wait staff here has to go through training before working at a restaurant. The following is an excerpt from the training manual we think they follow.

Wait until customer has been seated for about 20 minutes before bringing menus. Allow them ample time to peruse. Take order. Go smoke a joint. See if the kitchen actually has the food. 20 min later, take order again either because the kitchen didn't have food or you forgot to put the order in. Stop to watch the sunset for a while. Bring drinks... to the wrong table first. If you don't remember what they ordered, Kilimanjaro beer is a safe bet. Check to see if the second order of food is available. If meat was ordered, locate animal to kill (if beef was ordered, stray dog is an acceptable substitute). If eggs are ordered for breakfast, consult with at least five other chefs on the appropriate method to scramble an egg. Run out to help your buddy tow in a fishing boat. The sun has set now, so stargaze for a while. Pulling in the boat was tough work, smoke another joint. Get food from the kitchen and carry the plates around to every table except the table who actually ordered it. With a confused look, walk back into the kitchen to consult and figure out where the food is actually supposed to go. Bring food to the appropriate table. If they ask for anything extra (e.g. ketchup), just smile, nod, and hope that someone else will deal with it. After dinner, attempt to prepare the bill. If the calculator is broken, just forget it and hope someone else deals with it since the customer will inevitably ask everyone else in the restaurant the same way they did with the ketchup. It's been a long night - be happy you're not working for tips.

On Being a Beach Bum

I have a ridiculous amount of time in Zanzibar. Two weeks to be exact, which is at least a week longer than I have been on a "beachy" vacation before. I am definitely worried about going a little stir crazy, especially without some decent books to read. The following has been our plan to adjust to the art of living in Nungwi (small town on the northern tip of Zanzibar).

• Realize we're not in a first world country anymore: A minimum of two hours, sometimes three, needs to be allotted for every meal. This means sitting down and ordering well before you are actually hungry. Check the next blog entry for restaurant management 101. With so much time dedicated to meals, the day actually fills itself more quickly than I anticipated.
• Complete a day excursion: It is important attempt at least one activity a day; any more might be too ambitious since I have two weeks to fill. Yesterday we went snorkeling; today we were supposed to be sailing. Unfortunately, with hangovers and no wind outside, our group (now of 5 since we made new friends) opted instead to practice the art of being lazy. In addition to getting my scuba certification, I intend to be a certified master of the art of laziness by the time I leave on August 5th.
• Rock the 'stache: For the boys, to complete the beach bum look, it is necessary to shave the beard that has grown over the last two weeks on Kili and safari, but keep the mustache. Give it a comb before going out and try to use it to pick up girls. (Our new friend, James, was working this last night... I don't think it was very successful.)
• Adjust the internal clock: Our first two nights here, we tried to stay awake until midnight and sleep in later than 6:30 a.m. We failed miserably. Yesterday after snorkeling, we discovered the key: pre-dinner power nap(or at least rest). We dominated (yes, Leems, I threw that word in for you) Cholos, the local beach bar, until 3 a.m. I was very proud of us.
• Determine the necessary tactics to deal with locals who never have change for large ($10) bills: Jared accepted a credit last night. Sam at some point decided he didn't trust the credit and it was better to just get 5 half-liter beers for $10 all at once and then drink them quickly before they got too warm. I'm not sure, but this might have been the start of our downfall last night.
• No shirts, no shoes, no problems: I woke up this morning, rather reluctantly, and did the usual check after a night of drinking. Purse? Check. Wallet? Check. Money in the wallet? Not so much, but luckily I didn't bring much out to begin with. Fleece? Check. Camera? Check. Shoes? ummm... Shoes? Definitely missing. I must say, it is the first time I made it home from a bar with everything but shoes. Since the journey home included jumping several fences and a detour for a 3 a.m. swim, I guess I should just be grateful nothing else was missing. (Mom, don't worry, our new friends--the same guys we met on the safari--are firefighters and paramedics in LA and have decided it's their job to look out for me once Sam and Jared leave tomorrow. I told them it was a shame we didn't have them with us in Arusha.)

All things considered on day three of being a beach bum (in a third world country no less), I think I am adjusting rather well.